hello hello

HELLO EVERYONE! for a start, i shall introduce who i am. this is JANELL HERE, you know u ppl need to start having a habit of introducing who you are at the start of the posts cos this blog is shared btwn 33 PPL HAHA

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im amazed our blog is surviving so healthily without me doing anything!! HAHA JK JK (though the previous years i had to work really hard just to get the class blogs going on and i gave up :P)

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-xomg miley cirus rocks!!!!!-

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ANWS just wanna say im truely shocked and touched by eustacias post, vry impressed by her straightforwardness and her truthfulness (somemore im one of the ppl she asked to come and read her post ^.^ HAHA. makes u feel honoured and trusted u noe ;))

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makes me think that this class is super bonded and everything!!!! also helps me realise how much ive been missing out cos i dont put in enough effort to bond wiht u little kids ;) HAHA

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we should have more of these little confessions! AND THEN WE CAN OSO ADD THE PASSWORD THING SO WE'LL FEEL SPECIAL HAHAHA. i love those pop up password boxes la they pwn man.

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anws yep we'll pray for you eustacia, take care man!! always thought u were some hyper kid, never knew you could be suicidal! God bless and dont even try to commit suicide again!!!!! we'll miss you terribly :'(

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love love, (HAHAHA) JANELL.

Hey, so I've got this book called 'If Jesus were Your counsellor'.

& I think it was a really great book that really answered some of the burning questions I had, so if you guys wanna borrow it, I'll gladly lend it!

Don't give up!
& Always remember to turn back to your Father above!

<3 Shee!

CONFESSIONAL!

Ok, This is cause I admit I need help and cause I may have confused/shocked some people.

For the past few weeks, I have been in depression and I was suicidal last week.

It's basically like a drop lower and lower. I don't really know why but I've been getting more and more depressed and with the depression I become unreasonable and irritating. Like on the concert day? When I had red eyes, yeah that was cause I quarreled with my mom till she nearly threw a bowl at me. And when I asked Dora to pray for me (just before obs),thats cause my family and I were experiencing major issues.

So that OBS week, was basically my worst week. I got so far into depression that I seriously entertained the thought of suicide through and overdose. Its a good thing one of my friends told my mom and she could stop me in time. I was going to go for counseling but the counselor's in France so I ended up talking to my Chinese teacher.

I thought I was getting better but from today I guess I still have a long way to go. I was crying this afternoon and basically it was cause I was scared I disappointed one of my friends. It's a good thing Chui was there to basically talk to me and comfort me. I want to tell you guys that the reason why I didn't tell you this earlier is cause I really hate making people worry and personally I don't think I'm that worth it.

I'm going to paste excerpts from my conversation with Chui: (the actual one is 3 pages long)

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

why r u depressed?

maybe its true that lifes not worth living I hate myself too says:

i wanna cry

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

that doesn't sound eustacia-ish

maybe its true that lifes not worth living I hate myself too says:

people keep scolding me

maybe its true that lifes not worth living I hate myself too says:

and i suck at everything

maybe its true that lifes not worth living I hate myself too says:

i can't even be happy

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

that's not true...

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

u don't suck at everything

-skip-

maybe its true that lifes not worth living I hate myself too says:

yeah, but i should have helped

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

you say you should have

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

but could you?

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

there's a different

maybe its true that lifes not worth living I hate myself too says:

i dunno

maybe its true that lifes not worth living I hate myself too says:

maybe

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

*difference

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

listen, eustacia

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

just by listening to you, i know that u're obviously not in the right state to help anyone except yourself

maybe its true that lifes not worth living I hate myself too says:

i dunno anything anymore

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

we all don't, at some point of time

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

but it's just a passing phase

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

it'll make you stronger

maybe its true that lifes not worth living I hate myself too says:

but i think i should help all the way

maybe its true that lifes not worth living I hate myself too says:

its better if i collapse helping

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

but was it within your ability?

maybe its true that lifes not worth living I hate myself too says:

i dunno

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

let me tell u this eustacia

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

i shall use an analogy

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

right now, u're falling

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

u're trying to break the fall

maybe its true that lifes not worth living I hate myself too says:

why am i crying

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

and if you successfully break the fall, it would be much easier for you to get up as compared to you letting yourself fall than getting up

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

*then

maybe its true that lifes not worth living I hate myself too says:

i dunwanna cry

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

go ahead and cry if that's what you need

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

it's not a sign of weakness

maybe its true that lifes not worth living I hate myself too says:

i told myself that i'm not going to cry

maybe its true that lifes not worth living I hate myself too says:

n i can't even do that

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

don't try so hard

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

don't try so hard eustacia

oh, by the way, i'm awesome says:

you don't need to prove anything

-end-

Basically it went on and on and I was crying the whole time. If you want the details I can pass you the transcript cause I don't want to say to much here. So basically I'm asking that you guys help by praying for me if you want to, there's bo obligation.

So thats what I wanted to say.

This isn't class matters at all. Well, not really but I can't really remember what I wanted to say. But the gist of it is on my conversation with Joy so I shall post it first and see if there's a jolt in my memory capacity. Please excuse the spelling errors. We have uncontrollable spastic fingers (:

JOY melting under blue skies; belting out sunlight shimmering love says:
realistic? well, think a botu it this way. we've gotta grab on to those little happy things as hard as we can to avoid falling into the eternal pits of damnation and depression, a result of life.

Scream the way you would if I ravaged your mind. says:
another thing i wish for people to stop causing other people misery it because i want less people going to hell.

JOY melting under blue skies; belting out sunlight shimmering love says:
you know. i pray for it. and, i guess i was crying during class chapel 'cos i felt that God was actually there and helping every one of us that morning. and maybe He really WAS trying to make it a better place, and i guess you could pray for it too?

Scream the way you would if I ravaged your mind. says:
oh yeah. i cried too. i broke down there and then.

Scream the way you would if I ravaged your mind. says:
and geri was stealing glances at our forms looking at their weirded out faces

JOY melting under blue skies; belting out sunlight shimmering love says:
i bet they were. it just proves their unfeelingness though. alright, it's contempt rearing their ugly head again, but sometimes i just really don't like them

Scream the way you would if I ravaged your mind. says:
i don't really blame them actually.

Scream the way you would if I ravaged your mind. says:
they just don't know what it's like

Scream the way you would if I ravaged your mind. says:
and actually that's another thing.

Scream the way you would if I ravaged your mind. says:
i want the class to help and try save them from damnation.

JOY melting under blue skies; belting out sunlight shimmering love says:
well. it's... character, i guess.

Scream the way you would if I ravaged your mind. says:
no i mean by accepting jesus

JOY melting under blue skies; belting out sunlight shimmering love says:
well, yea. they just won't, i bet. it's because they're just... them.

JOY melting under blue skies; belting out sunlight shimmering love says:
we should help. definitely

JOY melting under blue skies; belting out sunlight shimmering love says:
but, HOW?

Scream the way you would if I ravaged your mind. says:
yes. i shall post on the class blog. after i shower

Scream the way you would if I ravaged your mind. says:
which i should now

JOY melting under blue skies; belting out sunlight shimmering love says:
it'll be damn awkward to preach to the teachrers, for one. haha

Okay I actually have more to say. But I still can't remember. Darn short-term memory. Oh well. Anyway, any thoughts regarding the topic? I mean, I know some of us really can't stand them, but I think that we should just show them a little love, you know? (Just not to Chui's extent, of course) because the world could definitely use a little more of it anyday. (:

On that note, class chapel was awesome, guys.
Really.
It was amazing. (:

peektures~

Hello people, I wonder who will read this before tomorrow.

This is just a reminder to all...
to bring tissue boxes :)

And make sure there's actually tissue inside =.=

I have not used blogger for a longgggg time.

boo!

elo, falo 3edi-o-ts.

One day Caris will be a famous bassist and you will even see her jumping around on MTV. Then you will notice the young, crazy and homo girls screaming her nameeee. Maybe she will even get to flyyyyyyyyyyy around the world to play for more young, crazy and homo girls. MUAHAHAHA.

But before all that can happen...she must learn how to play the bass. :D

harhar.

Anyone want to buy me a Singfest08 ticket?

hearty warty,
Caris the oh-so awesome.

MY FIRST POST HERE!

But everyone should get who I am because people all say I have a very distinctive way of expressing myself.

Firstly, NO MORE MID-TERMS! (:

Secondly, Geri and I have no life and didn't want to go home nor go out after the exams on friday so we stayed back, and we wanted to run, but then another brilliant idea struck us. So we spent about half an hour strategically planning on the whiteboard before we put our planning into action...and arranged all the tables and chairs! Aren't we just awesome?

So, some people have already picked their seats. And I really had nothing to do because my brother refuses to let my practice my drums because he complains that it's too loud. So, since I didn't have a scanner and needed people to see the plan (although I doubt any of you are going to see the picture until after we have gone back to school and you would all have seen it anyway) but who cares! HEEHEE. Sorry for the horrible drawings. I digitally drew them becaause I don't have a scanner. UM Joy and Agnes were put there because Geri and I decided to, but I know they're gonna object strongly. We know it's not conventional, but we wanted something inordinary. Seriously, we almost arranged to tables to spell out 3E. I mean, class spirit right? Hahahaha.

Lastly, this is all completely unrelated but I felt like ranting.

Travis Barker is such an AWESOME drummer. Seriously. The Blink 182 song beats are easy enough to learn and self-teach but the drum fills and accented demisemiquavers are insane. Insane. Insane.

On that topic, James Owen Sullivan or The Reverend Tholomew Plague is even more awesome! YAY. He is unbelievably extraodinarily completely totally supremely awesome! He's double basses are like WHOA. And his drum fills are insane. More so than Travis Barker. And the beats are crazy too. OH MAN. AVENGED SEVENFOLD FTW. (:

Oh! And Bob Bryar. Mainly because he's from MCR. And MCR is awesome. Enough said. Heehee.

Harry Judd's pretty good too. Heehee. Mcfly's funny.

I hope to be on my own list one day. That doesn't make sense. Never mind. I GOT IT! (:

Yes, I'm high. The repercussion of Ben & Jer's. YUMMY.

Sorry for rambling. HEE. (:

TGIF! (well, almost)

fridayfridayfriday, CAN'T WAIT.
officially over, yo (:

alright, so anyways, some people suggested going out together as a class after exams? (well, Janell suggested shopping. Add that we'd all buy matching clothes. So that we could all wear said matching clothes to the Esplanade)
but ANYWAYS, do you guys wanna have dinner together on friday before the concert thing? like, at 6-ish? mhmmm. somwehre near. at like, the esplanade, i guess. haha actually, orchard isn't that far either. alright, so, get back to me about it yea? KAYS.

happy mugging!
TWO more days.
we can make it(: